I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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