Buhtt sex?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Someone shattered a urinal.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
