she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
