You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
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When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
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It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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