what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
