i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
