I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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