Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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