You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
