Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize