so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
