i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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