Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
