the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'd cum for enchiladas.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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