I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
