We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
