I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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