oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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