You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
