Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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