miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
