just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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