I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
