My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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