You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize