Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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