you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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