I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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