he puts the penis in happiness.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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