Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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