Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
