have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
