I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize