I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
