I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I will be naked everywhere
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
