I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize