you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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