Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
