Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just want nice things and good sex
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
