But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
