Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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