You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
