is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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