She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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