I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Hippo gnu deer
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
