Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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