Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
