great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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