Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
