I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
