i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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