Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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