I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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