and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
