btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
