I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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