Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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