I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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