You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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