i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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