scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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