u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
