Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
