I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
