My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
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