We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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