I got chris browned last night
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
